Being Human

It’s hard to be human.

I heard this said in a television show I was watching and it struck me as very true. There are so many ways that being human is difficult. And I’m not talking about issues of survival here; I’m looking at the mental gymnastics that often have to be endured in daily existence.

Now, I’m a firm believer in the necessity of resilience in life. In fact, I believe that becoming good at putting up with things and pushing through difficult moments will not only make someone stronger, but more content. However, it must be acknowledged how difficult it can be to put up with the things happening around and to a person.

The human experience - putting up with shit.

I guess existence is more then just putting up with shit, it’s finding life in the midst of the shit. It is so easy to decide that nothing in life is worthwhile or worth the effort of trying. We as humans have the capability to achieve and do, but we are just as capable of giving up and stopping, leaving ourselves stuck in place. Staring at a wall, frustrated, angry and bitter towards life and others.

It becomes so important that we have a purpose. A reason for what we are doing. If we have an overarching destination for our efforts, we can enjoy the difficulties we encounter in the process. Maybe this is why religion and its promises of purpose and future destinations resounds so well with us.

Humans need purpose, without that we shrink up and stop living. We begin to lash out at others, finding reasons, making reasons, to do something, feel something. Usually these unfocused attempts to feel end up as destructive and unhelpful actions that only diminish ourselves and everything around us.

Purpose matters for thriving when things get difficult.

This is the key to getting through the shit of human life. By having a purpose, you can manage how you deal with and continue through the complexities and difficulties that will be part of you life.

I have worked with so many individuals who were raised with adversity or brought it down on themselves with the choices they made. In those who managed to take back control of their life, they always had a reason to do so. A thing that helped to drive them forward and find a path out of the jungle they were in.

I have also dealt with many individuals who did not have a purpose or reason for their existence and they in turn often found themselves floundering. Lost and alone in their own mind, unable to see a way to go beyond where they were at that moment. Often they were stuck in the unfairness that they saw around themselves and could not envision that it was up to them to make the change, to find the reason, to be different. They could not make the now work so they could have the future.

This concept of purpose, of finding a reason, of seeing the how to live within the way things are is not new. The amazing aspect of it is that these ideas have been thought of and taught in some form for thousands of years.

But it is one thing to think or read about what is needed and another to actually put any of these ideas into practice. This is always the hardest part, to put in the work, to assess yourself, your life, your actions and admit that you need to approach things differently if you want something changed.

No one else can do this for you. As in anything that is for you, you are responsible, you have to decide that things will be different or the same. You have to find the reasons for your existence and happiness. No one can make or create these aspects for you. Nor should you want someone to do that for you.

Life will always challenge us.

This concept is the one guaranteed aspect of existence you can expect. There will never be completely smooth sailing in life. Your ability to manage the tides and storms that stress you will dictate your life’s experience in the end.

You will never find perfect equality or fairness in life. Someone will always be minimized due to random chance. But how you decide to manage that random fate will equate either to a life well spent or one lost in anger and defeat.

Now, I’m not advocating for banal acceptance of your fate. You absolutely can and should work against injustice and prejudice. No one should be consigned to less due to what they look like, where they come from, who they love, what sex they are, what they believe, or any of the myriad stupid reasons humans have created to typecast and degrade other humans. But, you can find joy and beauty in the existence you were given and are leading. I would argue you are responsible for allowing yourself to do this.

This will mean looking beyond yourself and what you are perceiving of the world. Being able to envision and appreciate the good around you, even in the bad. Seeing what is positive and possible. Giving yourself the capability to feel, to be content with who and what you are and see what can be accomplished, or appreciated, within your outside limitations.

You cannot allow yourself to just give up and quit. Though you may be sorely tempted to do just that at times. In someways it is easier to quit. To blame the world and everyone for the unfairness of your situation and experience. But why would you want to do that? What are you giving yourself besides more pain and anguish? All you end up doing is creating more horribleness around yourself. Perpetuating the cycle you are in. Continuing to accomplish nothing and feeling poorly about it.

Remember, it’s hard to be human. Always has, always will.

Even though being human is filled with multiple complications, difficulties and stressors, it is something that can be and should be embraced. We, by our very existence, have to make life into something better than it appears.

No life is easy. While some circumstances are easier than others, it has to be remembered that every person has issues that only they perceive and understand. While someone’s life may appear uncomplicated, or without issue, we can never know what they are experiencing as they live. Just as no one can know what you are fully experiencing in your life.

We as humans need to embrace what life has given us and try to find the places that we can flourish within it. By seeking the joys that may be hidden in the crevices of our lives, we can begin to climb up and out into a better existence.
While we may still need to endure and manage the shit that we find ourselves trekking through, we can at least know that if we keep moving we will get away from the worst of the stench at some point. We may never be free of it, but we don’t have to sink deeper or just wallow around in the muck either.

While being human is hard, we can attempt with our actions and efforts to make existence a little more pleasant for ourselves and those around us.