Expectation and Reality

Everyone sets expectations whenever they begin to do something. Sometimes those expectations are low, but often they are set high. So high that whatever it was they were trying to do ends up not coming close to being anything like the expected outcome. People then find themselves dissatisfied or disappointed with the results.

For someone who is just re-entering society, or is trying to make the first steps towards change, expectations often slam hard into the wall of reality. Leaving them frustrated, lost and angry. Because of these too high expectations, they often give up and decide that either the change is not worth the effort or they just aren’t capable of making it happen. This kind of thinking quickly becomes who they identify themselves as, and they believe there is no use in even trying, ever.

Tempering expectations and helping people to set realistic goals is a key component of a probation officer’s job. It does not mean dashing hopes and dreams, but instead helping to find the balance between what they hope to happen and reality.

Wanting is not enough.

You try to believe that if you just want something badly enough you will get it. Somehow, someway, you will manifest your goal into life exactly as you planned it. This has as much basis in reality as buying a lottery ticket to pay the rent next month. Could it work? Sure, maybe. But will it work? Ah, no, not gonna happen.

While wanting is a step in the process of getting, it’s not enough to ensure it happens. You have to put in the work towards what you want. Nothing will get you nothing. Simple math 0+0=0. It’s always easy to want, it’s hard to do.

The process of moving beyond want is just doing something every day that moves you a step closer to your goal. Consistent work. But, you can’t do that if you don’t have expectations based in reality. You will find yourself striving, then becoming frustrated when your effort does not equal your hope.

Setting realistic goals makes progress easier.

Being realistic about what you will accomplish will do a couple of things. It will ground your thinking so as to make better plans and it will help you see progress as it happens. Knowing how you can get to where you want to be and then seeing progress taking place will make keeping on track that much simpler.

Let’s use an example. Say you want to get in great shape. A worthwhile goal. But your expectation is that you will look like a fitness influencer and you will accomplish it as soon as possible. I’m sure you can see some of the issues in the example. Definitely a somewhat definable goal, but poor expectation.

While you could make excellent change and progress, you will likely not create the change you imagine. Mainly because you haven’t set a clear, realistic, expectation. What is it you want that the influencer has? Or what is it you desire to happen to your physical appearance or strength goal? How long will it really take to make your desired change take place?

Bringing the level of expectation down to definable and realistic levels makes reaching those goals much more likely.

Clear goals set real expectations.

When you create clear goals, you then set realistic expectations about accomplishing them. This is why having a clear, definable goal matters so much. Expectation that is in line with reality will make it that much easier to follow through successfully.

Of course you will still need to fight through those difficult moments of doubt, boredom or apathy. Welcome to the human world. But when you know what it is you’re trying to do, staying focused, and returning to focus, will be infinitely easier then having expectations that are outside of reality.

When you are not realistic you are much more likely to give up and quit when the inevitable temptations to do so invade your mind.

Realism is always preferable to distortion.

By staying inside the real world in your planning and thinking, you ensure your ability to actually execute and accomplish things. While it can be fun to allow yourself to go big and grand in your plans and ideas, when it comes time to actually decide on the path you will choose, staying close to reality will allow you to make the kind of progress you desire.

When you avoid the error of unrealistic expectations you give yourself the best opportunity to achieve and be successful. You make it so much easier to implement and continue to follow through on the process when you can see your realistic expectations being met.

When this happens, you can then make adjustments and improvements to your goals, pushing yourself further then you would have expected. Thereby proving your belief in yourself and your capabilities.